CAFFEINE - I NEED CAFFEINE

I’m absolutely drowning in coffee, sugar, and salt. After this is all over with, I think I’m going to have to recondition myself to live, eat and sleep like a human being, because I certainly don’t feel like one.

It makes me wonder how people can actually eat fast food all the time and NOT feel sick…. After about 3 days of eating that absolute crap, my stomach goes into full rebellion and demands that it will secede from the union of my body unless I give it a friggin salad. I still haven’t fed it salad. It’s been about 1 week since the rebellion’s inception (is that the right word?), and I am afraid that the organ will go on strike and I won’t be able to fill it with more sugar, salt and caffeine. Or I’ll have a heart attack.

On the upside, my last final is tomorrow! (SCORE) But then what am I going to do? All you people know me too well and know that within a week or so I’m going to be sitting at home, compulsively cleaning my apartment and attempting to raise it out of its disgusting state of papers and half-empty bottles of coke, and going “Why aren’t I at the library? Don’t I need to study? What am I going to DO?”

Alright. I’m wasting time talking to well..probably no one. As no one probably reads this anyway….stupid school.

Back to Property. Have fun kids.

This is my new idea of fun. Isn't it great? 

What a FABULOUS waste of time

Okay so here I am, not concentrating on my Con Law (anyone else see a pattern?) again. So I decided to check out my new favorite site, Foamy the Squirrel!! It's the best waste of time that I've seen in a while! Any thanks I may receive for offering this contribution may be forwarded to Dana.

So check this cartoon out:
Foamy Rant 2: The fat bastards that sued McDonalds

Hey there hasn't been a naked man on here in a little while - mmmm Burt Reynolds ;) 

'Ello Bridget! So, how's your love life?

Alright. All those who do not wish to know anything about my love life should just stop reading now. Of course, we all know you're going to read anyway due to your morbid curiosity.

I am now officially Bridget Jones. And apparently single women DO have scales. Why? Because apparently if you are single for just about six months, suddenly 13 year olds attempt to set you up with their cousins named Bubba (or something akin to it, I don't remember what his name was) and your "friends" at work want to put you up on a personals site. A personals site!!

Why they HELL would I want to post my picture and a cute little profile? Is it really that bad to be single? Is it even worse that I like being by myself right now? It's not that boys aren't great, I mean they're good for occasional amusement....let's face it. Most of the time, the whole dating scheme is kind of a hassle, and it really is no fun trying to explain to people about how studying in law school is NOT like undergrad where you can study the morning of a test.

Besides, then you have to make time for them. And you all know I don't have much time in the first place. Uggh.

So my point here was this: since when did being single become the ultimate evil? Why does everyone either have to be paired off or married? It doesn't make you whole kids, it just makes you a part of someone else's identity - which can be a good or bad thing, depending on how it happens. You know what another word for that is? Co-dependency.

Alright I'm going to finish studying about the Erie Doctrine and drink my coffee in my apartment with my cat. Sounds fabulous. :)

Torture???

Okay I know I said I'd refrain from politicizing this thing, but why in the world would anyone think that it's permissible to torture people? Yes, I realize it's concerning potential terrorists, but there is one word we need to focus on: "potential." Therefore, we'd be "potentially" torturing innocent people. How does this mesh with our strong stance on human rights? I'll tell you how - it doesn't. In fact, it makes us into the hypocrites we're so well known for being - you can't torture people (or have nukes) but we can! Why? Because we're the United States!

Thank God it's Cheney raising this and not someone legitimate. That's all I have to say. If you want to know why I went off on this small rant, here's the link to the story:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9929724/

Okay I'm going to study now. Constitutional law is calling me. (Ahh the irony the irony)

Ooohh What Rule Are YOU?

YOU ARE RULE 15!
You're a very helpful rule! You allow the attorney to amend their complaint once as a matter of course at any time before the answer is filed, and also allow amendments in other cases. If a claim relates back to the original transaction or occurrence outlined in the complaint, you can amend the complaint, even though the statute of limitations has run.
Like a good friend, you're always there to help out in a bind.

Here's the link if you want to take the test!
Which'>http://quizilla.com/users/WrenchofDelivery/quizzes/Which%20Federal%20Rule%20of%20Civil%20Procedure%20Are%20You%3F/

Ahh yes. This is how every Saturday night should be spent!

Gender Misappropriation

Rex Van De Kamp: [having an allergic reaction] You put
onions in my salad?
Bree Van De Kamp: No, I didn't![looks back at table]
Bree Van De Kamp: Oh, wait.
Rex Van De Kamp: I can't
believe you tried to kill me.
Bree Van De Kamp: Yes, well, I feel badly about
that.

And this, kids, is why we shouldn't feed people onions. They make people die. Or maybe just Lauren. However, this could be a terrific way to get rid of that pesky person in your life whose sole purpose is to irritate you.


Ladies and gentlemen, we are witnessing an interesting switch. Men are no longer men; women no longer women. More frequently I am noticing feminine behavior in the males, and masculine behavior in the females. I can say this because apparently I display a good amount of testosterone-fueled qualities, such as being able to open my own beer and spaghetti jars. However, there are more disturbing gender-bending traits coming out in both sides.

For instance, last year my friend had a bat in her apartment. So she attempted to get her then boyfriend (now husband) to look for it, but he wouldn't!! So who gets called in for back-up? That's right, me - a girl. Who apparently has a reckless streak, because I just went in there with my tennis racket - okay it was hers, like I play tennis ha - and proceeded to beat the bed and walls to try to scare it out.

Yes, that's right. I went searching for the rodent while he hid on the couch like a (dare I say it and risk offending my own gender) woman. But let's face it - us ladies don't like anything small and furry that shouldn't be there - mice, bats, you name it. We don't like them. Typically it should be the guy's job to hunt them out and beat the living crap out of them. But what's going on now? I don't understand.

So here's the question I pose to you: Is this evolution (and proving our superiority haha) or is this due to the increasing sexual equality in both society and economy?

Let me illustrate: there have been major changes in both work behavior and dating behavior. Not that I date all that often (School will do that to you. You know, make you a loser. It also makes you stupid.) but I have quite a few male friends and they all have the same pattern: they wait for the girl to make the first call, and afterward, wait at least 3 days for the second call. It's even worse if they actually see the girl - then they can't see her again for another week. Hint, kids: we get reeeeaallly impatient. If you like us, you better call us in 3 days OR LESS, and there will be no once a week rule. That's just stupid and irritating.

This brings me into my second point. Because guys have become so passive, girls have become cynical and just a tad impatient. Making them more aggressive. Every girl I know has made the first call at least once, and even demanded a date. I couldn't say how many guys I've just told to go out with me because I was tired of their skittishness. Honestly.

I know what some of you are thinking- Great! Progress!! But this isn't progress - it's blatant laziness! We're stuck in this twilight zone where girls make the first call, expecting a response, and then still waiting by the phone. What's up with that? Stupid.

Now on to the job market: It's become increasingly common for men to take orders from a woman, and the woman is almost always an extremely confident, assertive person that people take seriously. Our office is about to go through a transition of sorts: our office manager is just the kind of woman described above. However, our main guy just passed the bar - meaning he'll be an associate with our boss. Our OM hasn't taken the bar yet....And won't until July. So what does this mean? There's going to be a shift in power - she will go from being the one in charge to being 2nd in charge within the next two months. Already she's saying she won't take orders from him.

Do you know what this spells? Trouble. I'll let you know how it turns out.

How Hot is He???!!?? 

*Yawn*

SO....to add on to the list of things that annoy law clerks, here's something for you.

Being told to throw all cancelled checks away, and then told "No no that was wrong" and having to get them all back out, reorganize them, and put them away. Okay it wouldn't be a big deal if it were say, 200. But this was 10,000. 10,000 kids. Think about it.

Speaking of 10,000 kids, who else thinks that those Childrens Funds commercials are scams?? Maybe I'm a tad cynical but I really don't think that 28 cents a day you send them actually goes to children. Just seems like there's something wrong with it. Kinda like when bakers put wedding cakes into cars without boxes.

Yeah that's right. Without a box. And stacked up. Oh, and the dress people who don't know how to alter the dress. We were up until 3 am (mind you, I didn't have to do it) fixing (watching others fix) the dresses and the cake. People are damn stupid in this state.

Okay this was really just a "Hey I am alive" post but maybe I'll put something more interesting later. Maybe even read up and say something intelligent.

Ha! Who wants to read that crap?? Nerd.

Mmmm bluuurrrrdd....*Warning: Might be a Liberal* 

Nice to see you. Even nicer for you to see me. ;)

Good evening, dahlings. Nice to see everyone is doing well in the world - well at least well enough to decide that this page is the place to be. And why wouldn't it be?

Now. To introduce myself, the first thing I will say is this: No One has ever said I was nice.
Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but you understand where I'm going. I tend to say whatever is in my head, and so maybe I should give a brief warning.

WARNING TO ALL: A list of things you may see, which also may offend.

1. I live to entertain myself. Therefore, there are things I may say that benefits no one but well, me. I think it's fun.
2. I have strong opinions. If you couldn't tell that by now, you must be dense.
3. And finally, every possible subject I come across during the day/week/month will probably be brought up. So if I know you, I'm sorry. However, I will disguise your identity as best as I can - maybe you won't even realize it's about you...or that you know the person writing this. HA! Yeah, right. Anyway, I'll be as good as I can about it.

Okay I'm done now.

My First Subject

Let me explain something first. I am the office bitch at a law office, and so I get to do some important tasks mixed with a lot of menial ones. One of these tasks is to answer the phone, and attempt to be the friendliest person they've ever spoken to. However, there is one problem: we have a good amount of clients who think it's their job to irritate me.

Tips on How to Annoy Legal Assistants:

1. Please. Do tell me that I am too incompetent to assist you with your case simply because I'm a woman. Like I don't do just about everything in the office. Or know how to read. Cause that's all it takes. And anyone who has had more than a second grade education can read one of those stupid things.
2. Yes, do call 20 times a day every day. We spend every minute of every hour working on your case, even when we are merely waiting for responses from other people. Which is what we do a majority of the time. So learn some patience, and I promise we'll get it done.
3. Ask to only speak to the attorney. Like he comes in before noon anyway.
4. Bring your children with you when you come for your appointment. It's fun for us to clean up the mess when you leave. It gives us something to do. Because we're never busy.

Okay kids, I think we're done with class for the day. Have a good night - and don't forget to eat a good breakfast in the morning!

HEY! It's ME