Mmmm bluuurrrrdd....*Warning: Might be a Liberal* 

Nice to see you. Even nicer for you to see me. ;)

Good evening, dahlings. Nice to see everyone is doing well in the world - well at least well enough to decide that this page is the place to be. And why wouldn't it be?

Now. To introduce myself, the first thing I will say is this: No One has ever said I was nice.
Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but you understand where I'm going. I tend to say whatever is in my head, and so maybe I should give a brief warning.

WARNING TO ALL: A list of things you may see, which also may offend.

1. I live to entertain myself. Therefore, there are things I may say that benefits no one but well, me. I think it's fun.
2. I have strong opinions. If you couldn't tell that by now, you must be dense.
3. And finally, every possible subject I come across during the day/week/month will probably be brought up. So if I know you, I'm sorry. However, I will disguise your identity as best as I can - maybe you won't even realize it's about you...or that you know the person writing this. HA! Yeah, right. Anyway, I'll be as good as I can about it.

Okay I'm done now.

My First Subject

Let me explain something first. I am the office bitch at a law office, and so I get to do some important tasks mixed with a lot of menial ones. One of these tasks is to answer the phone, and attempt to be the friendliest person they've ever spoken to. However, there is one problem: we have a good amount of clients who think it's their job to irritate me.

Tips on How to Annoy Legal Assistants:

1. Please. Do tell me that I am too incompetent to assist you with your case simply because I'm a woman. Like I don't do just about everything in the office. Or know how to read. Cause that's all it takes. And anyone who has had more than a second grade education can read one of those stupid things.
2. Yes, do call 20 times a day every day. We spend every minute of every hour working on your case, even when we are merely waiting for responses from other people. Which is what we do a majority of the time. So learn some patience, and I promise we'll get it done.
3. Ask to only speak to the attorney. Like he comes in before noon anyway.
4. Bring your children with you when you come for your appointment. It's fun for us to clean up the mess when you leave. It gives us something to do. Because we're never busy.

Okay kids, I think we're done with class for the day. Have a good night - and don't forget to eat a good breakfast in the morning!

HEY! It's ME