Jew with no soul seen at McD's today - orders entire menu and demands discount

My diatribe of the day (ooh diatribe. What a great word - sounds like you might actually know something when really....you may just be ign'rn't. That's how you spell that, right? No vowels?) is about how I have no soul. Yeah I think I've told a couple of you this within the last week, but let me explain anyway - I think it's fun. I mean, we knew I was going to hell (You! Jew! You're going to hell!) but NOW we have proof that I have no soul.

So then does that mean I'm not going to hell? People with no souls can't go to hell, can they?

Anyway.....to go on with it (get on with it will you??)

We took in a new case at the beginning of the week, and Chris (aka Hey I'm an attorney guy) was showing me her injuries and whatnot, explaining that it was a good case. He likes to do this because I think he feels I should feel purposeful or whatever. In any case, I looked at it, and here is what I said kids:

"Well, I'd like this case better if she had broken some bones."

Yes, yes. I wanted her to break a leg so that we could get more money for the firm.

I. Have. No. Soul.

And so I discuss this with a few of my law school friends, and have since determined that none of us have souls...because they felt the same way I do. What's wrong with us?? When does it come to a point when you want someone to be even more hurt than they are so that you can support the case better and thus get a bigger settlement/judgment???

This is why the general public hates lawyers. All we want is the big payoff.

End of Diatribe

In any case, I haven't had any hilarious diseases lately (what?? Herpes of the Throat???) or had any fun trips or experiences..unless you consider studying for finals a fun experience. My awesome presence has invaded this library for about 2 weeks now and will continue to do so until next Monday. I'm sorry for ignoring all you cool kids but we know how the routine goes.

Oh you don't?? Okay here you go:
Work
School (MWF)
Study/Outline

And this goes on forever and ever. So the answer to "What have you been up to?" Please read the above. Work, school, and studying.

However, I did break the routine last night by watching gay cowboys and eating chinese with wine - which actually wasn't too bad...I mean the food and the alcohol portion. The movie - it wasn't so hot. In fact, I think it violated me - physically violated me with it's pure graphic nature....and didn't even apologize for it either. But we had a good time laughing at it!!

Oh and I think my stomach is threatening to secede again - well too bad! Just for threatening, I'll give it more fat, salt and caffeine! Ha ha!

AAAHHHHH I NEED TO STUDY!

So the anxiety has finally set in. I am now ready to sit and outline like my ass is going to fall off. (You liked that, didn't you? Asses falling off. It's great.) The K-Fed is leaving this morning so that gives me a little more time to concentrate on school instead of letting people distract me! So my plan for this morning - take a shower, head to the coffeehouse and order a waffle, outline, skip my study session cause I have nothing ready for it, and study until my eyes burn from the computer screen. Let's not forget the eye drops and the nexium for my stomach. Always important. YES!!

In other news, my birthday was last Wednesday and it was celebrated for a week! How awesome is that?? Lauren and Dana threw me a surprise birthday party last Friday (the 1st) and completely tricked me. It was astounding how unobservant I am lol (Or how sneaky they are!) So let me tell you all what went down. Cause all of you care. Of course all of you were there......so okay I'm going to tell you anyway!!

So I get a text message from Dana in the middle of class asking if I was up for the night, and I said no. Then nothing. 1 hour later, I get a message saying she's drunk from decorating Barristers and I should come get her.....after she made a big friggin deal about wanting to hang out with me on Friday night and I had a Horrible day - to cut that whole thing short Dana had me going like an Irish person on alcohol. I was going to go off when I saw her...and I did. I "lectured" her all the way into the lobby and up the elevator (she "lost" her shoes) and even until we got to the door.

Of course, I thought we were in the wrong room. So....the quote of the night:
"Dana, I don't think this is the right room, there's a Happy Birthday banner. I think we're walking into someone's birthday party."

So in any case it was an awesome birthday party and I love my friends for doing it for me. It was fabulous. All in all this has been a good week.

Other recaps: Barrister's was fabulous (he can dance he can dance!), I am now Events Coordinator for the WLC, and I got pink roses at my door on my birthday. :)

See?? I'm not always negative. There's your happy fun story for the year - I will continue my ranting and raving on the next one. Thank you for coming, and have another Squishy.