And for everyone's viewing pleasure....me at my worst during the month that was Halloween. What was that??? And Bitches, stop looking at me funny! You're wearing a plastic vest! Haha
Monday, November 20, 2006
Confidence is overrated? What?
Confidence - Garbage
You’re confident
So confident
You’re full of it
So full of it
You’re full of shit
Alright, so it’s taken me a while to say anything else, but I haven’t had anything useful to talk about. Until now. I have a question to pose for anyone who would like to answer it for me:
Why do we emphasize that confidence is necessary for your mental health, but when we see someone who is confident, we say they’re either (a) full of it or (b) full of themselves?
I really don’t understand this concept. I used to be told on a nearly daily basis that I didn’t have enough confidence in myself, or that I had low self-esteem and that I should work on that. And now, the opposite is occurring – suddenly I and other “confident” people I know are being told that we are either full of ourselves, arrogant, or we’re just trying to fool everyone. Apparently it’s good to aspire to confidence, but not actually to have confidence.
My theory is that people in this country are afraid to appear anything outside of ordinary or to know their own capabilities and be proud of them. And it’s not like people don’t know their own strengths and weaknesses (well I assume most of us do. I certainly know mine) but it’s like we’re afraid to say we’re proud of ourselves because we might hurt someone else’s feelings. What is this, the nation of egos? Everyone is exceptional in different areas, and you know what, I think it’s good to know what you’re good at and to be proud of them. Isn’t that what we ultimately aspire to be? Someone who you can look in the mirror and say – “Hey, I like you. You’re a cool chick/dude”?
As the cliché goes, you can’t get anyone else to love you until you love yourself.
The same goes with our puritanical view of love and romance – why are we so bent on getting married and settling down? I have plenty of friends (and sometimes including myself) who disappoint themselves because they haven’t gotten engaged or even necessarily found the right guy. And all of us are around the same age – about early to mid 20s. That’s pretty young in these modern times. But the need for that “one true love” seems to run rampant, and drive many people, mainly women, crazy because they feel like they do not have it. And I think that’s driven by our own insecurities within ourselves, and certainly isn’t helped by the sheer number of ideal romances that you see in the media. Not that I’m trying to put blame on something else. No one in our society would do that.
And besides wanting to get married, there still remains the view that sex as a whole is a bad thing unless you’re in a seriously committed relationship. I generally hold to that thought, but that’s just because I don’t think it should be that easy to get that intimate with me. Notice I said generally.
But I have heard the opposite from my foreign friend (haha I think it’s funny to call her that) – who says that we here are entirely too conservative in our views toward sex. Apparently where she grew up, it was considered a natural thing, and doing it shouldn’t necessarily be constrained just because you aren’t in love. I don’t know how I feel about that, but I can see where she’s coming from.
So I think that should cover me for another month or so. I’ll see you all after I have walked over the burning coals in my bare feet about 4 times – finals is friggin awesome. Yay caffeine!
You’re confident
So confident
You’re full of it
So full of it
You’re full of shit
Alright, so it’s taken me a while to say anything else, but I haven’t had anything useful to talk about. Until now. I have a question to pose for anyone who would like to answer it for me:
Why do we emphasize that confidence is necessary for your mental health, but when we see someone who is confident, we say they’re either (a) full of it or (b) full of themselves?
I really don’t understand this concept. I used to be told on a nearly daily basis that I didn’t have enough confidence in myself, or that I had low self-esteem and that I should work on that. And now, the opposite is occurring – suddenly I and other “confident” people I know are being told that we are either full of ourselves, arrogant, or we’re just trying to fool everyone. Apparently it’s good to aspire to confidence, but not actually to have confidence.
My theory is that people in this country are afraid to appear anything outside of ordinary or to know their own capabilities and be proud of them. And it’s not like people don’t know their own strengths and weaknesses (well I assume most of us do. I certainly know mine) but it’s like we’re afraid to say we’re proud of ourselves because we might hurt someone else’s feelings. What is this, the nation of egos? Everyone is exceptional in different areas, and you know what, I think it’s good to know what you’re good at and to be proud of them. Isn’t that what we ultimately aspire to be? Someone who you can look in the mirror and say – “Hey, I like you. You’re a cool chick/dude”?
As the cliché goes, you can’t get anyone else to love you until you love yourself.
The same goes with our puritanical view of love and romance – why are we so bent on getting married and settling down? I have plenty of friends (and sometimes including myself) who disappoint themselves because they haven’t gotten engaged or even necessarily found the right guy. And all of us are around the same age – about early to mid 20s. That’s pretty young in these modern times. But the need for that “one true love” seems to run rampant, and drive many people, mainly women, crazy because they feel like they do not have it. And I think that’s driven by our own insecurities within ourselves, and certainly isn’t helped by the sheer number of ideal romances that you see in the media. Not that I’m trying to put blame on something else. No one in our society would do that.
And besides wanting to get married, there still remains the view that sex as a whole is a bad thing unless you’re in a seriously committed relationship. I generally hold to that thought, but that’s just because I don’t think it should be that easy to get that intimate with me. Notice I said generally.
But I have heard the opposite from my foreign friend (haha I think it’s funny to call her that) – who says that we here are entirely too conservative in our views toward sex. Apparently where she grew up, it was considered a natural thing, and doing it shouldn’t necessarily be constrained just because you aren’t in love. I don’t know how I feel about that, but I can see where she’s coming from.
So I think that should cover me for another month or so. I’ll see you all after I have walked over the burning coals in my bare feet about 4 times – finals is friggin awesome. Yay caffeine!
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